Thursday, July 26, 2012

Poetry

Currently Listening To: Stick To Your Guns - Diamond

This was written late Monday night...

"Final Fight" 7.23.12

Whiskey induced psychotic halucinations
Spread like cancer.

Blinded by the lullaby in her eyes
And washed away in the undertow.

Waiting a lifetime for an answer
Until crimson flows furiously from her wrists.




"Red Wine Success!" 7.23.12

Doing all that I can 
To keep my hands off
My neck 
And in a much safer place, 

Like that of a wine glass...

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

This Is My Version of a Sappy Love Letter...

Currently Listening To: Hot Water Music - Exister

This is a letter to the friend I really never knew...

Hello Whoever You Are,
I don't know whether or not you will be shocked when you read this, but I feel like you need to hear some things that I have been thinking about lately. I used to like being in your company. We would laugh, sing, and make fools out of ourselves and the booze would flow without hesitation, but now it has turned into something quite toxic. I feel as if we were never even that close to begin with. Do you know where I can from? Do you really know my past? Easy answer: NO. You never thought to ask. We might as well be strangers. That pretty girl I saw in the back of the bar might as well have been a delusion because you never trusted me enough to really let me know anything about you. The way you treat me as if I am just another face in the crowd. This is what it feels like to be a ghost. All those lost hours doing nothing important with our time...wasted. It's fun to pretend that we will live forever, but that frightens the shit out of me because I know our time is limited and I am doing what I can now so I do not regret anything when the reaper comes. I really cannot stand all the fakeness you made me endure. I thought we were growing something, but it fell far to short of my expectations. Maybe that was my fault though. I should have never had expectations to begin with. I hope your happy without me. I hope you enjoy every fucking moment, because one day you are going to wake up and say to yourself, "What have I done with my life beside make sure my wine glass was always full?" I wont be there tomorrow. I am moving...moving on from mediocrity. It hurts my soul to let you go, but I must because I cannot be coaxed back into that life. I have been down that road and all it left me with was heavy fines from the state government and a family that is untrusting.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

What We Left Behind

Currently Listening To: Alkaline Trio: Damnesia

It has been many a moon since the last time I thought about updating this ghost town. Lots of things are changing very fast in my life and I am looking forward to this coming fall. If you did not know, I spent the last month and a half working/traveling on the Vans Warped Tour for a skateboard company owned by my friend Brian. I had the opportunity to work alongside some of the friendliest and genuinely awesome people. I could not have been more blessed. Thank you all for being who you are. I hope your lives are fruitful.

*A little note about the following poem: I wrote this short piece over a couple of boring hours during the show in Atlanta, GA, August 1, 2011. It was a very warm, sticky day. At one point my booth was trapped by three different "signing" lines. I was a little miffed (to put it lightly). The piece is concise and conveys the feeling of working on this kind of tour.

This poem is dedicated to all my "Cinderblock" hommies...sorry I neglected to make you all a copy. I love and miss you all dearly!

"What Do You Mean I Cannot Walk This Way, I Have an 'All Access' Pass: My Summer on the 2011 Vans Warped Tour"

Long, humid days and redundant questions are my constant bother.

Mindless sheep walk in droves looking for nothing but a free fix,

While carnies litter the alleys hocking fake thrills

With the promise of "satisfaction guaranteed".

I can only pray that I will wake up from this 54 day long nightmare.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Ignorance is Not Bliss...

Currently Listening To: Defeater - Empty Days & Sleepless Nights

Notre Dame de Namur University is a very "interesting" institution to attend. Most young people who enroll there as a Freshman are fairly ignorant and end up in terrible, often dangerous situations because of their lack of life experiences. With that said, I would like to introduce you to a girl named Penelope.

I was first introduced to Penelope Brimhall (originally from Redmond, WA) in Dr. Maxwell's "Intro to the Old Testament" class. She was a sweet girl, modest, natural beautiful, and she always smelled like strawberries. Because she was so innocent and charming, she was also every young mans fantasy. Unfortunately, Penelope was not an easy girl to sway. She attended parties hosted by various university sports teams, but she generally did not get wasted (I have only seen her drink Smirnoff Ice, but never more than two). She always kept her wits about her and never got drunk.

Even though Penelope had a good head on her shoulders and always made the right decisions, she felt like she was missing out on all the "fun" people were having around her. She secretly wanted to be the center of attention, but she (like most women her age) was scared of being judged negatively. She knew that if she drank she would loosen up a bit, but was not into losing all her inhibition. Penelope liked to be in control, so the thought of her being drunk and "black-out" really scared her.

One Friday night, while hanging with a couple of girlfriends in the common area of a New Hall dorm, Penelope overheard Tiffany and Lauren talking about scoring an "8-ball" of cocaine. Penelope had never done a drug in her life (she wouldn't even take a Tylenol for a headache), but she was sick of always being labeled as a "goody two-shoes" and "innocent", so when Tiffany and Lauren went into the bathroom together, Penelope followed.

The girls were a little shaken when Penelope expressed interest in throwing down for the drugs. Being the terrible people they are, Tiff and Lo agreed that Penelope could hang out with them that evening. They realized that Pen would probably only do a line or two and would be so yakked out that she wouldn't want to do more than that. After getting all the money together (roughly  $120) Tiffany went to pick up the sack from her dealer a couple of cities down the 101S.

Within 30 minutes Tiffany had returned. She said nothing as she entered the common room, but tapped Lauren on the shoulder and slunk off into her dorm room, shortly followed by the two other ladies. After the door shut Tiffany whipped out a bag which contained several large white rocks of the "booger sugar". As Tiff was opening the baggie to do some of the drugs she was talking a mile a minute. It was rather noticeable that she was already "on one" and ready to for another. Penelope stood behind the other girls, watching them very carefully. Their movements were methodical. Tiffany pulled out a tiny mirror and placed a fairly big rock on it a crushed it with tow of her parents credit cards. As she was "lining the girls up", Lauren was rolling up a $50 bill. She handed the rolled bill to Tiffany who was clearing her nostrils so the coke wouldn't get clumped up in her nasal passage. She inserted the bill in her left nostril, put her head down, and snorted deep. She lifted her head almost immediately to make sure she got a nice, long drip and said softly, "Goddamn this shit is pure!" She took the rest of her half a line in the other nostril and handed the bill off to Lo after checking her nose for residue. Just as Tiffany had done, Lauren followed suit.

Penelope was nervous, she felt sick to her stomach. As the girls were doing their lines Penelope was questioning whether or not she should be doing something so irresponsible. She could hear her mothers voice in her head, but before she could talk herself out of it, Penelope was handed the $50 to roll up to take the plunge. She looked at the bill and then at the girls, who were not sniffling and whose eyes where becoming glazed over and dilated. Penelope wanted this to be something she wanted to remember so before taking her line she went on the laptop in front of her to find her "coke song". She decided on "Rich" by the Yeah Yeah Yeah's, a fitting song for this very moment. As the song played she rolled the bill very carefully, cleared her nostrils like the others two before her, inserted the bill in her left nostril, and lowered her head over the tiny mirror. She closed her eyes and snorted hard and lifted her head almost immediately and coughed. Tiffany and Lauren instructed her not to spit and keep her head back in order to get a good drip. Penelope made a sour sort of face, probably because she was not ready for the awkward taste of the drugs. She felt her palms starting to get sweaty and her heart rate increased and her face was a little flush. Penelope looked at her "friends" first with a look of disbelief and then a stupid half smile. "Do you want to do another line?", asked Penelope. Tiff looked over at Lauren and they gave each other a reasurring look and said, "Fuck yea we are gonna do another!" The girls had a long night ahead of them...

3am...

Penelope is pacing in the common area of Tiffany and Laura's dorm, still really feeling the drugs coursing through her veins, never knowing what it feels like come down from hard drugs. Her head felt as if it were being spit open by a hatchet, heart beating at the speed of a quarter horse, skin pale and clammy. Penelope wanted more drugs. She now had a taste for the yummy white powder, but her "partners in crime" were now nowhere to be found. Tiffany had bolted from the room a little over an hour ago looking for her regular late night fuck and Lauren felt sick and decided to go for a leisurely walk around campus in an attempt to feel better.  Penelope was left to suffer the comedown alone. Her thoughts we scattered and she was no doubt in a paranoid state, but one thing her mind could focus on for more than five seconds was finding more of this wonderful drug.

Always,
Maddog

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Merry Go-Down...

Currently Listening To: Matt Skiba - Demos

I don't really know where to begin this post. I just got back from an amazing four and a half day trip to the Bay Area, specifically in Belmont visiting people from school. The few days I spent up there were each a complete masterpiece. I cooked and shared food with people that I love dearly. I took care of some important business concerning my storage unit. We of course spent a glorious day in San Francisco. This weekend was productive.

Thank you Shane and Cole for the roof over my head the past couple days, your hospitality is second to none. Thank you Alenna for throwing the "Buttah Boys" a reunion party (sorry we were two hours late!) Thank you Natasha for making the trek to pick me up from SJO during peek morning traffic hours, I could not be more grateful. Thank you 'The Dude' and Ana for making this trip perfect by being in town the same weekend I chose to come visit. Thank you Nick, Dani, Taylor, Conrad, and others for Sunday night at the Office. Thank you Bay Area for everything!

As far as the blog goes...we will be in touch.

Humbly Yours,
Maddog

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Carrying Weight

Currently Listening To: Half Hearted Hero - Defining. Refining.

Hard work has been paying off at Souplantation. The managers really like me and notice that I give them 100% everyday, so they decided that it is time to move me up the ranks. I am currently being trained to become a "Department Trainer". With the new title comes new responsibility and I am so ready to take on the challenge. Besides that not a lot else is going on in my life...just taking care of business everyday and putting money away...real adult stuff, haha! I wish I had something to spark my creative side, but the monotony of work has been taking up a lot of my time.

Next week I am going to the Bay Area to visit with everyone and tie up some old loose ends. Maybe then I can find something that will get me to post an interesting blog.

I contributed a couple pieces from my blog to this years Bohemian literary journal, which will be out later this year (April I believe). It is always so exciting to see my work in actual print. If you want a copy, let me know please...Ill pay for it...my treat!

Ohhh...Be on the look out for new Buttah Boyz hats coming this spring...contact either me or Shane OP to get your very own, hand-crafted, 100% buttah'd up snap back!!!

Since this post is boring I am going to wrap it up here...thanks for reading!

With love,
Maddog

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Paris in Flames

Currently Listening To: Teenage Bottlerocket - Total

As some of you may know (and most of you do not), I just spent this past weekend in one of my most favorite places in the world...PARIS, France! I know how most of you reading this post must feel right now..."What a spoiled jerk!" is a phrase that comes to mind. I would like to start off by saying, "Yes, I know that I am spoiled, but I do not take it for granted." Not one second have I ever not been thankful for the wonderful life my parents have given to me. To say that I had a marvelous time would be a total and complete understatement.

My journey to "The City of Lights" began at 3am last Thursday morning. I showered, got dressed, had a cup of PG Tips, and was out the door of my Aunt Noella's pad by 340am. The 'Super Shuttle' got me to the airport by 430am and by 630am, we were wheels up. I would spend the next 24 hours traveling ( roughly twelve hours of actual flying time) and by 8am (Paris time) the next day I was at Charles De Gaulle airport. I was supposed to meet the brothers at the airport, but after waiting around for fourty-five minutes I decided I would take a cab ride to the hotel and just meet them up there (maybe they had already left the airport and were already checked into the rooms)

After my 50 Euro ($65 American) cab ride, I made it to the lovely little boutique style hotel called "Hotel Le Bellechase". (If you are ever traveling to Paris I highly recommend that you stay at this gem of a hotel.) I was welcomed warmly by the hotel staff who told me that my brothers had not yet arrived and that our rooms would not be ready for another hour, so I decided to go down to the breakfast room to relax, wait, and eat.

It had been five and a half years since the last time I have traveled to Europe and since then I have forgotten a lot of details, but one thing that never left my subconscious was how unbelievable and special the food is. I sat down to a gorgeous, fully stocked, continental breakfast which included: fresh baked breads and pastries, tasty cold cuts, several different types of cheese, scrambled eggs and bacon, and the most fabulous yogurt I have ever put to my lips...I HAD ARRIVED! It was just then hitting me that I was sitting in a hotel, eating the best food in the world, in one of the greatest cities in the entire world. I took another bite of bread and smiled wide. Shortly after finishing my breakfast the brothers were walking down the steps to meet me. We hugged and sat down so they could enjoy some of the fine food and catch up (since the last time we saw each other was the first week if November.

That evening we would be dinning wit the folks and surprising our Mother, so that day was entirely up to us to entertain ourselves. We decided to go be "tourists", so we walked around the heart of Paris, taking lots of pictures, drinking fine espresso, and eating crepes. During this time, Alex's good friend Christina (the German) meet up with us to explore the city. We had a great day together, but it was going to be a better evening because we were going to be surprising TM at dinner (an elaborate plan all staged by our very sneaky father.

I would love to keep going on, but there is far too much to recall for you here. Instead, I will attempt to post all 200 + pictures I took and you can see for yourselves what all went down. Please do not expect ALL pictures by the end of the day because I am loading them to Photobucket first to reduce the size.

I hope you all are having a very pleasant 2011. I cannot believe that we are already in the month of March! So far it has been a wonderful year and we are only two months in. I love and miss you all. Thanks for reading.

With All My Heart,
Maddog