Currently Listening To: Hot Water Music - Exister
This is a letter to the friend I really never knew...
Hello Whoever You Are,
I don't know whether or not you will be shocked when you read this, but I feel like you need to hear some things that I have been thinking about lately. I used to like being in your company. We would laugh, sing, and make fools out of ourselves and the booze would flow without hesitation, but now it has turned into something quite toxic. I feel as if we were never even that close to begin with. Do you know where I can from? Do you really know my past? Easy answer: NO. You never thought to ask. We might as well be strangers. That pretty girl I saw in the back of the bar might as well have been a delusion because you never trusted me enough to really let me know anything about you. The way you treat me as if I am just another face in the crowd. This is what it feels like to be a ghost. All those lost hours doing nothing important with our time...wasted. It's fun to pretend that we will live forever, but that frightens the shit out of me because I know our time is limited and I am doing what I can now so I do not regret anything when the reaper comes. I really cannot stand all the fakeness you made me endure. I thought we were growing something, but it fell far to short of my expectations. Maybe that was my fault though. I should have never had expectations to begin with. I hope your happy without me. I hope you enjoy every fucking moment, because one day you are going to wake up and say to yourself, "What have I done with my life beside make sure my wine glass was always full?" I wont be there tomorrow. I am moving...moving on from mediocrity. It hurts my soul to let you go, but I must because I cannot be coaxed back into that life. I have been down that road and all it left me with was heavy fines from the state government and a family that is untrusting.
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